You know how people always say things like… “Oh my gosh, my second child is NOTHING like my first child.” “I can’t believe how DIFFERENT my babies are.” “No two babies are the same…” Well, I can say with confidence that my THREE babies ALL share the same DIVA-esque temperament. All uniformly needy. What are the odds that three consecutive children bare the stamina to wail as long as it takes to get Mama to pick them up? I truly thought that I would have just one baby that’s easygoing or calm, NOPE. Not a chance. What the hell was I thinking? And poor hubby has to deal with constant screaming 98% of the time he holds his child because our babies know that he is not the Mama. He has no milk therefore he is useless. Poor guy. Now I know what you’re thinking… it sounds like I have colicky babies, but that’s not the case. They usually stop the wailing as soon as they hit Mama’s arms. I say “usually” because two of my three children have had digestion issues so sometimes the screaming is warranted and not easily remedied and actually had a cause.
What is it like to have someone excitedly ask to hold your adorable baby and not have to explain that the inevitable screaming that will ensue has nothing to do with that person? The baby is just extremely attached to Mama. I guess there could be worse things to complain about but after having a baby in the belly for ten months I kinda would like a break every once in awhile, you know? Some alone time. Maybe go pee without listening to blood-curdling screams coming from the other room? Or exiting the shower (if one constitutes rinsing off in under three minutes a shower) and not springing a leak; dripping Mama milk uncontrollably (wasting precious gold) because a baby is howling for Mama’s attention. Just a little peace and quiet while completing the simplest of daily tasks? Not. One. Child. Aren’t I lucky? I see friends with babies that are totally cool just chillin’ in a bouncy seat, on an activity mat, or hell even the car seat… not my precious bundles. Just a couple weeks ago Mighty successfully bawled from Auntie’s house all the way home! THAT’S OVER EIGHTY MILES PEOPLE! She was only three weeks old! And it was 10 O’Clock at night! (Insert big eyeballs emoji here) Is anyone else as impressed as I am? My kid’s got stamina. My kids (plural. As in ALL OF THEM) hate the car!! I remember when Famous accomplished that same feat, but it was my first rodeo and incessant crying made my anxiety level skyrocket so I constantly tried to make him “happy” so he would stop crying… which never worked. I would have rather drove my car into a brick wall than listen to his crying any longer. Thank God I’ve gotten passed that. I know they are not in pain so I’ve learned to block out the crying. The hubby is a PRO at it. Blocking out the crying that is. And that guy can sleep through ANYTHING which irritates me, yet I find myself envious of his ability. One night, Famous was up in the middle of the night crying for absolutely no reason and I was rocking him and patting his back as if that would pacify him, when I happened to look over at my bed where Hubby was sleeping soundly. It pissed me off to know that he was snoring away, not at all bothered by the egregious ear full I am dealing with. I wanted to punch him square in the throat, but since that would be irrational I decided to bring our screaming child to HIS ear. I held Famous within an inch of Hubby’s face for a solid minute. Do you think Hubby moved? Flinched? Effing rolled over? No!!!! He didn’t move a muscle nor did he break his snoring stride! It must be nice to be Daddy. I told him this awesome story the following morning and he laughed. Why? Because he truly heard nothing.
Sometimes my babies are picky about HOW they are held too. They must be held facing out. Or sometimes on the hip, facing out. They all have preferred to be held on the left hip or the left arm. Don’t dare switch sides… they will cry. On a positive note, I will say that my babies have all been pretty great sleepers. At night. As long as they’re in bed with me. Thank goodness I’m a crazy, irrational person that thinks my baby’s gonna stop breathing if he/she is away from me while I sleep or else our nighttime arrangement would be difficult. But I am, so it’s not. I realize this entry is of no real significance, merely a bit of a “woe is me” bitch fest. But I really thought my third child would break the high-maintenance chain. I think she might be the most spirited of the three. I guess that’s a good thing for a little lady to be… Spirited.
famousslimandmighty 